• Scout Smith-O'Leary

How to Tinder in Covid Times

2020 was rough on all of us, let alone those single and ready to (would if we could) mingle folks. With most social interaction being basically illegal, it forced many to turn to dating apps as the only means of making new connections, finding sex buddies and searching for romantic partners. While the ability to source infinite potential mates from the comfort of your sofa without having to put on pants clearly has its advantages, there are quite a few cons to this swiperific app.

Cass and Cam searching for online love

Here’s what you need to know if you want to have the best chance of meeting someone online and not destroy humanity’s faith in love.

Don’t bullshit. Resist all temptation to put up the 9 best photos ever taken of you. While you may feel good about yourself, you are projecting an unrealistic expectation of what you look like. This may get you “hotter” matches in the short term, but the last thing you want is to meet someone in real life and have them be disappointed by your appearance. Don’t be the “you were more attractive in your photos” person. Choose a few great pics, a few average ones and one of you being silly and less attractive. It shows you have personality, character, aren’t stuck up and can take the piss.

Be bold. Put full sentences in your bio about who you are and what you want, even if that is casual sex or a long term relationship. Don’t waste people’s time. Culturally we are allergic to honesty, but wouldn’t you rather have someone be real with you so you can actually find what you’re looking for? We all have different wants and needs and limited time. Be precise and go get what you want!


Know your intentions. If you are just on Tinder to hear the sweet match “ping” and dopamine hits, be up front. Nobody wants to be led on. If you are genuinely there to meet someone, have a quick text, call them for a chat and then organize a walk or coffee in a public place during the day. Nobody has got time to text strangers for months on end with no plans of meeting.

Put in the effort. We forget that Tinder is designed with the same algorithms as the pokies! It was built to keep us on the app swiping; that’s how they make their money. You must stop your swipey finger and invest time in the matches you make, otherwise, what’s the point?

Be kind. Behind most profiles there is a real person with feelings and a story. How you treat someone online will impact their outlook on love and relationships. Be gentle with the hearts of strangers. The last thing we want is a bunch of bitter disillusioned lonely hearts. None of us really know how to use dating apps properly or make them less awkward. However, we can apply integrity, kindness and compassion to the way we interact with the people on the other side. So, next time you open a dating app, take a second to think about who you want to be; do you want to be someone who destroys or restores a stranger’s faith in love?


Scout is a matchmaker and relationship educator. To know more about her upcoming dating workshops, visit www.schoolofconnectionsydney.com

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