• Izzy Buda

It's in the Genes

Updated: Feb 13

When I was a surly teenager there were many a time I spat “I’ll never be like you when I’m a mum!” Flash forward fifteen years later my mother’s words and voice expel themselves from my mouth without warning. I have become what I promised I wouldn’t. It’s an involuntary expulsion of irritation after your child draws all over the walls for a fifth time. Many times we repeat our own lives. The words our mothers and fathers told us when we were children come back on the next generation. Being self aware, we have the power to select from what we learnt and decide what we want to pass on.

Sometimes I’m super mum. Kids are happy, I read to them daily, do the washing, cook great food and get them to bed on time. Then there are other times I open the fridge and stare at the raw products with absolute boredom, totally uninspired at the prospect of turning them into an edible meal. The times the kids won’t sit still and you have to basically straight-jacket them and repeat over and over and over again “open your mouth” while you try to feed them. The times when they’re in the shower and keep opening the screen door, running through the house dripping and laughing. You’re not laughing though. Get the F back in the shower you think. You are mentally tired and pissed off.

It’s the endless repetition of parenthood that grinds me down. The endless nagging and screaming thinking to myself ‘why won’t you just do what I ask?’ I do anxiously await the teen years. I recently complained to mum about the rigmarole of mothering. She smirked and said ‘little kids, little problems!’ and my mind flashed back to my teenage self. Yikes. My kids have my genes. It’s very likely that history will repeat itself and I’ll have Ruby sneaking out to Dee Why parties at night with a Mt Franklin bottle filled with ‘rocket fuel’ too.

Do I have the power to change the future with my parenting or is my child gonna be the way they’re gonna be regardless of my style? The apple does not drop far. Mum, me, Ruby. Let’s see shall we.

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