• Johnny Baylis

Raise the Spit, Keep the Eastern Bloc Out!

Updated: Feb 13

Pan-Spit tensions are red raw after a border dispute showcased the deep-seated animosity between Sydney’s North and East photographers.

Photo credit: @visualsofstef

On a recent pristine morning with Instagram snappers desperate to nail the perfect shots of beachside rockpools, TEBSC (The Eastern Bloc Sunrise Crowd) claim they were illegally refused entry ‘roadblock’ style to the Insular Peninsula. Professional photographer and saboteur Stef told The Shutter Priority, “Someone ripped into the Spit’s fuse box, made sure she didn’t come down till cloud cover rolled in and turned a primo morning into a grey and glum photographer’s nightmare. It wasn’t me.”

It’s no secret TEBSC are bored beyond belief, as too are their dwindling Instagram followers, with posting pics of their ‘one famous beach’ at Bondi and that ‘one famous pool’ at Bronte. “It’s all they’ve got,” laughed Stef, cackling a little too gleefully for his earlier declaration of innocence to be taken with anything but 10,000 Alanis Morrisette ironic spoons of salt. “The Northern Beaches is the focal point of the Sydney photography scene. We don’t need Bronte wannabes swanning over here to steal precious Instagram likes that rightfully belong to locals.”

Police were called to the scene to investigate an alleged burnout by one of the Eastern Bloc. "The skid marks were pretty underexposed", said the Constable, "very common for photographers from Bronteeeee". Police are looking into those leading lines.

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